Living With Grief While Dreaming Bigger
BY: TARA ACCARDO, GRIEF + SOUL PURPOSE COACH & HOST OF LIFE WITH GRIEF PODCAST
What happens when you're grieving… but also feel this quiet, persistent nudge to dream again?
It’s one of the most tender and complex spaces we can find ourselves in after a loss—that place where deep pain meets a spark of hope. That soft whisper that says, “There’s more for you here.” And yet, when you hear that voice, it can feel confusing. Uncomfortable. Even wrong.
If you’ve ever wondered,
“Am I allowed to want more while I’m still grieving?”
“What if dreaming again means I’m leaving them behind?”
“How do I move forward without feeling like I’m forgetting?”
You’re not alone. And you’re not doing it wrong. In fact, these questions are some of the most human ones we can ask on this grief journey.
Let’s talk about it.
The Tug-of-War Between Grief and Growth
After loss, it can feel like there are only two options: grieve or grow. But the truth is, these two things are not mutually exclusive—they’re deeply intertwined.
There’s a moment I remember so clearly: standing in my kitchen late at night, my heart heavy with grief… and yet, this thought popped into my head like a tiny flicker of light—“I want more.” More joy. More meaning. More life.
And immediately, the guilt crept in. How could I want more when I was still hurting? Still aching? Still figuring out who I even was after loss?
This inner tug-of-war is so real. But here’s the thing: dreaming doesn’t erase your grief. It doesn’t mean you’re “moving on” or forgetting. It means that something inside of you still believes in possibility. And that’s not betrayal—it’s bravery.
The Guilt That Follows Growth
Here’s something we don’t talk about enough: how hard it can be to feel good again.
There’s this invisible line we fear crossing—this belief that if we laugh, if we plan a trip, start a business, fall in love, or simply enjoy life again, it somehow means we’ve moved past the grief… or worse, moved past the person we lost.
Let me say this as gently and clearly as I can: You are not leaving them behind. You are carrying them forward. You are building a life with your grief—not without it.
You can honor your pain and your past while holding space for your future.
Dreaming Is a Form of Integration
After loss, many of us find ourselves reevaluating everything—our jobs, our relationships, how we spend our time, where we live, what truly matters. And often, what starts to emerge is a new kind of dream. A new vision. A different version of ourselves.
I always say that grief didn’t kill my purpose, it revealed it.
I’m doing work now that I couldn’t have imagined before my losses. And not because I “moved on,” but because I let my pain shape me. I let it soften me, open me, and eventually, guide me toward something bigger.
Dreaming isn’t a way to avoid grief, it’s a way to honor it. It’s how we transform it. How we take everything we’ve lost… and create something new.
Journal Prompts to Support You
If you’re in that delicate space of feeling the pull toward something more, but also feeling the weight of your grief, here are a few questions to gently explore:
What dream has been quietly whispering to me lately?
If guilt and fear weren’t present, what would I allow myself to want?
How can I honor my grief while still choosing joy, growth, and expansion?
What would it look like to carry my loved one with me into my next chapter?
Let these prompts be invitations—not pressure. Your timeline is your own. There’s no rush. Only gentle reminders that dreaming again is safe… and possible.
Final Thoughts
You are allowed to grieve and grow at the same time. You are allowed to carry your sadness and still create joy. You are allowed to want a beautiful, vibrant life—not in spite of your grief, but because of how deeply you’ve loved.
There is no right way to do this. Only your way. And if you’re here, wondering if it’s okay to dream again—this is your sign: it is. And I’m walking this path with you. You’re not alone—and your dreams still matter.
Tara Accardo is a Grief and Soul Purpose Coach and host of the Life With Grief Podcast. After losing her parents to cancer within six months of each other and navigating a traumatic birth experience, her journey of grieving led her to create Losses Become Gains—a community for fellow grievers that serves tools, resources, inspiration, and guidance on how to navigate grief, loss, and moving forward in life with both in tow. Through her podcast, one-on-one coaching and other modalities of support, Tara’s passion, calling, and commitment to uplifting and empowering fellow grievers runs deep.
