My Student’s Family Member got Deported. Now What?

Oct 20

Helping Educators Support their Students through the Ambiguous Grief of Deportation.

By: Kera Sanchez, Editor-in-Chief, Bilingual Secondary Dean of Students

For Context:
In recent days, my School community has experienced increased immigration enforcement activity. Many of our students are coming to school carrying deep worry, confusion, or grief after a family member, neighbor, or loved one has been detained or deported.

While this situation is not the same as a death, it is a significant loss — one that can impact a student’s sense of safety, belonging, and stability. As educators and caring adults, we can play a vital role in helping students feel supported, grounded, and connected.

1. Recognize the Loss

Deportation creates an ambiguous loss — the person is gone from daily life but still alive.
Students may feel sadness, fear, anger, guilt, or shame.
Recognize that these reactions are normal responses to separation and uncertainty.
Avoid saying things like “At least they’re safe” or “It could be worse.” Instead, use supportive language such as:
“I can see this is really hard for you.”
“It’s okay to miss them and feel upset.”

2. Maintain Safety and Stability

Keep routines consistent. Predictability helps students feel secure.
Offer calm reassurance without making promises about things you can’t control.
Protect privacy. Do not ask for or share details about a student’s or family’s immigration status.
Model calmness and respect. Students take cues from how adults respond.

3. Provide Space to Talk and Feel

Let students know you’re available to listen if they need to talk.
Some may want to share; others may prefer silence — both are okay.
Offer safe ways to express feelings through writing, drawing, or quiet reflection.
If a student seems withdrawn or distressed, check in gently or refer to a school counselor.

4. Connect with Support Systems

Collaborate with your school counselor, social worker, or family liaison for next steps.
Provide families with information about local community organizations that offer legal, counseling, or family support.
Encourage positive connection with extended family, cultural traditions, and supportive peers.

5. Watch for Signs of Ongoing Distress

Students may show their grief through behavior, such as:

Difficulty concentrating or sudden drop in performance
Irritability or acting out
Withdrawal from friends or activities
Excessive worry about family safety

If these signs persist, refer to mental health staff for additional support.

6. Take Care of Yourself, Too

This kind of loss can affect staff emotionally. Supporting students through grief takes empathy and patience. Check in with colleagues or supervisors if you need space to debrief or process.

Key Message

You don’t need to have all the answers — just being a steady, caring presence matters.
Our students need to know that school is still a safe place, and that they belong here, even in the midst of uncertainty.