Black Lace is my Grief Power move
By Erin Barbossa
Dear reader,
I wrote this poem at a time of deep grief I called my “sacred pause.” I entered trauma work to grieve the lack of safety I experienced in childhood as a sexual abuse survivor. Then, on May 6 2025, only days after I ended a round of Ketamine treatments as a part of my CSA recovery process, I was hit with a heavy dose of compounded grief - my childhood best friend Melissa died by suicide. A storyteller by heart and therapist by trade, I suddenly could no longer work, and had to end with all of my long term clients in just one week. Not long after her death, acclaimed poet Andrea Gibson died and I had a vision of Andrea telling Melissa all the ways to help me become a poet, and now I feel them both guide me when I write.
Black Lace is my Grief Power move
I’ve worn it all year, that year that is not a year
A season? not yet 3 months
But it feels like an eternity already of life you’ve missed of memories not made
I wore it to the Kendrick Lamar concert
While my more salt than pepper partner held me and sang to me
I wore it round a table of women who love me
Who celebrate me
Who want all of me there
I wore it at my rebirth
When a second career lay rubble at my feet from the earthquake
I guess I have a third career in me, I said,
Can I become a poet?
You are a poet they say
For a woman who will spend the rest of her days
Feeling so deeply that my belly will ache
She can only create
Was born a poet
And she shall shine
About the Author
Erin Barbossa is a licensed clinical social worker with over a decade of experience in the study of the intersection between trauma and neurocomplexity. She started her career working in television as an NBC Page and Associate Producer for The Oprah Winfrey Show. Now she runs a therapy practice Motherhood Supported based in Ann Arbor, Michigan and is the author of an upcoming memoir I’m Not Sure I’m A Therapist Anymore. Erin believes creativity can be a path to transcendence for anyone.
