Through Gigi’s Eyes
By Gigi Cohen, Age 9-Daughter of Issue 8’s Dr. Lauren Rae
The sky was filled with shades of pink, red, with flecks of blue. It looked like a rainbow.My mom and I sat on a hill as the sun was setting…Jazz, my beloved chestnut pony, stood next to me. I was holding his reins when my mom shared the news.
“Gigi, Daddy passed away,” she said. I was surprised, because I thought after all this time away the doctors would have cured him and he would come home. I was wrong.
My thoughts drifted to my younger brother and sister and how they would feel. Would they be sad? Would they understand something that I barely could make sense of? I wondered.
My mom broke the silence, “Do you have any questions sweetie?” I didn’t, I just sat quietly between my mom and Jazz. My mom was crying. This was the first time I ever saw her cry.
The days after were filled with school and camp. Throughout that time, Jazz helped me feel loved and happy. He filled the empty space that my dad left in my heart when he died. I could always rely on Jazz. He was always there and I told myself even if my dad left, Jazz would never leave me.
Jazz was perfect. He was gentle and an experienced pony, allowing me to become a better rider and an even better person. We were more than friends, he was my second love…after my dad.
The next winter Jazz started to change. He wasn’t his usual self, and I knew he was sick. My mom and my trainer kept telling me he was fine, but I knew. I knew Jazz wanted to leave me to be with my dad. Somehow, I managed to convince myself that even though my dad didn’t get better, Jazz would.
One day there was a huge snowstorm, and I couldn’t get to the barn for a couple of days. Jazz knew it was his time to pass away, and he went to the back of the field so that no one would see him. Jazz fell asleep and never woke up.
A few days later, I went back to the barn. My trainer, Ashleigh, waked up to the car and I opened the door. She told me the news. I was so sad. I couldn’t talk. This was the second time something I loved left me. I felt so alone and scared.
A couple of moths passed, and I went to Florida to see different ponies. I didn’t even want to ride horses any more without Jazz. It felt different and lonely without him. It was the same way I felt going back to my house when my dad was in the hospital. On this trip to Florida, I met the third love of my life. A pony named Go Fish. I knew he was the one…a chestnut body with a white blaze down his face. He reminded me of Jazz, and I knew I needed to bring him home.
Every day when I rode Fish my confidence started to come back bit by bit. I felt broke without my dad and Jazz, but slowly Fish was putting me back together again. Although Fish was difficult at first, I learned how to do the hard stuff through hard work. Even when I feel anxious, scared, or alone, I know I can push through because Fish has taught me how to be strong. I know he will not always be here to help, but for now, Fish is always by my side.
The love I have for my dad and Jazz never felt exactly the same. But I am starting to understand that people and animals will come and go, but my love for them and their love for me is always still there. Even if I cannot see it every day.
Gigi Cohen is the Daughter of Marc Cohen and Lauren Rae.
An avid horse lover and celebrated equestrian learning to grow through the grief of losing not only her father, but her beloved animals as well.
Her and her mother’s healing journey unfolded in an unexpected place: a neglected horse property they began restoring, Blue Fox Farm.
Working with the land and caring for animals—especially horses—became a way for the family to rebuild emotionally and spiritually.
Learn more about the farm her mother now utilizes for healing at mamafarmette.com (and check out her mom’s Substack where Gigi makes some appearances) and her book Haute Couture to Oat Couture: A memoir of trips and transformation, available June 2026
